"Cara DeLevingne and Michelle Rodriguez announced they are dating."
My dad ran into an old friend of his today, and they were catching up...
- Friend: "So how's your daughter doing?"
- Dad: "Great! She's in college now, and she's doing really well. We're really proud of her."
- Friend: "What's she studying?"
- Dad: "Political Science."
- Friend: "And does she have a boyfriend?"
- Dad: "Actually, she came out as gay several years ago."
- Friend: "You know that's... UNNATURAL... right??"
- Dad: "No, I don't think so, actually. My daughter's sexual orientation is a biological reality. It makes biological sense to me. You know what doesn't make biological sense? Her damned cat walks on a leash. A LEASH. Just trots along on a leash like a damned dog. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. THAT is what's unnatural."
- Best dad ever
have just been informed that “seahawks will win but the broncos will catch the snitch” is not a valid bet for the superbowl because apparently football “doesn’t work like that”. whatever.
quick fixes for a shitty day
- brush your teeth
- sort out your eyebrows
- do your laundry
- change your sheets
- hug a fluffy thing
- eat a snack
- reach out to someone even if it’s just a text
- get naked and dance a lil